Welcome to Boldschoolers! Today, we are going to field a common kid complaint which is: “I don’t like doing school for so long. I only want to do school for two hours, not five hours. I don’t want to sit for so long. The breaks are too quick.”
Kids often complain about long hours learning and parents are often bewildered by the complaint because many feel their kids aren’t learning long enough. Understanding how the brain learns is key to balancing out the learning day so it feels good to our kids and productive to parents. We don’t learn well with too much time spent learning new things. We learn well through small amounts of focused time, separated by small breaks to completely release the effort required to build new knowledge networks to house that learning. Turning it on, turning it off. Rinse and repeat. One name for that pattern is a POMODORO which we’ve talked about before on the show, but let’s get into the weeds of components you may want to include in your daily rhythm.
Maintaining Focused Attention Through State Changes
It’s easy to misgauge how long kids can comfortably sit before needing the opportunity to do something different, often in the form of a change in mental, physical, emotional, relational or environmental state. Brain Breaks are the term I use to remember the balance that our kids’ brains need. Time to reflect, time to practice, time to not think about it, time to reset, time to move. After a pre-determined time of focus, remind your child to take a break. Go outside with the dog, play catch in the yard, swing on the swing, get a snack, play with some toys or have a conversation or story break, for example. A 5-15 minute brain break is all that’s usually needed to reset and reenergize before focusing again.
Research into attention shows us that we only pay attention to about 50% of our lives (Jha, 2021). To keep attention focused, kids might benefit from something I call a Wake-Up, in addition to brain breaks. A Wake-Up is a metaphorical tap-on-the-shoulder when attention starts to fade. It’s an opportunity to refocus when attention wanes. If you can catch it early, all the better. You might offer up a joke, a quick stretch, a mnemonic or a song, stand up learning or a cup of tea, for instance. Anything to quickly snap attention back online and keep the flashlight on the goal. Momentary wake-ups can be used as needed while focusing, followed by longer brain breaks to help keep all the balls in the air.
When Should We Do School
Sometimes we don’t consider the WHEN of the learning day, when actually matters. Most kids are larks and what that means is that the vast majority of prepubescent children will have an easier time focusing and paying attention in the morning hours. This doesn’t mean you must do concentrated learning in the morning, but it is something to weigh into the equation. If you happen to have an owl (i.e. a child that naturally goes to bed later and wakes up later) on your hands, then you’ll adapt accordingly. Drawing attention to biological needs helps kids raise their awareness to self-regulate their own biology, helping them feel better in their bodies and more connected to themselves and one another.
Boundaries are good things. They honor our biology; they create a container; they create structure. I often refer to the establishment of a rhythm of the day, as opposed to a daily schedule. Some find a rhythm creates a container while still leaving room for tangents and surprises, but others find a schedule with time boxing, noting exact times for events and activities, best supports their child. Find what works for your family, but consider family discussions, rather than coercion. It might be helpful to discuss some components that you might include in your daily rhythm. You’ll make adjustments based on your own family wants and needs, but it’s a place to start that supports our biology.
A Daily Rhythm
INFORM THE DAY: Know what the day is about.
You will typically enter into the day with some idea of a topic of exploration. Perhaps your child will be following an interest, perhaps there was an experience you will now debrief, perhaps there are some topics of learning to dive into. Whatever the content, I encourage you to work with your child the day/night before to establish a number (perhaps 4-6) of clear goals to accomplish. Clear goals are small, manageable, meaningful objectives for your child to accomplish. If your child knows what to do first and what to do next, the day often progresses much more smoothly. Clear goals are ideally chosen by your child and having these goals preset, lowers cognitive load…all those thoughts springing around your child’s head. When there aren’t as many things to distract a child, impulsivity is lowered and small, achievable goals keep overwhelm in check.
You might consider holding a SCRUM MEETING to Set the Day. The purpose of a brief, morning ritual is to start the day with an opportunity to connect, check in physically and emotionally and get a read on your child for the day. A Scrum meeting might include a game or some type of physical activity, as well as setting intentions for the day. To learn more about Scrum, check out the blog post, entitled, SCRUM.
Scrum are informal meetings that start and end a day. Giving kids an opportunity to play a game, use their bodies, set intentions and connect with others is a great way to set a productive day into motion. We remember best what comes first and what comes last, so it’s also an opportunity to set a positive frame around learning.
Attention is one of the most important aspects of learning and getting good at using the different types of attention is an important lifelong skill for children to master.
During a Scrum meeting kids have a chance to focus out into the world, interacting with others and with the environment. This type of attention to the floodlight (i.e. awareness about the environment around us) helps to ground kids and make it easier to pick up their flashlight (i.e. focused attention) and apply it to daily learning goals.
Before kids sink into the learning for the day, remember to set the
FRAME
Make sure kids understand WHY they are learning what they are learning. As children settle in to start working on daily goals, it’s helpful for kids to remember why they are about to put forth their best effort to learn what’s in front of them. A frame helps create buy-in and ownership, as it narrows in on the meaningfulness of an activity. Ideally, kids have set their own daily goals with some assistance, but setting the frame helps remind kids of not only the value to the learning, but also perhaps the wider application of that learning. FRAMES
The deep work of the day, what I call, Superpower time, may consist of:
· Daily Clear Goals through Pomodoros (focus time and brain breaks)
· Expert guidance
· Deliberate Practice
· Memory Techniques
· Set Clear Goals for next day
This is the place of concentrated learning and big progress. It may be a time you or an expert works alongside your child, or it may be a time your child works alone to accomplish the clear goals set. It is the time for learning new things, and also the time for recalling and consolidating things already learned. Superpower time may last a scant number of valuable minutes, or it may last many hours, depending on your child, the content, and the day. The most important part is that your child did it, in other words, consistency. Some days will be more productive than others, but accomplishing the clear goals set, helps your child win the day. Adjust the number and detail of the clear goals to make sure that your child is left with a feeling of victory.
For the remainder of the day, your child might partake in more creative and free-flowing explorations and connection. There might be a vendor class, a field trip, a friend group, a hobby or other activity that will feed your child’s growth and development. Some of this time might be planned and some of it might be more open-ended. The rhythm of the day may also include time for Flow activities such as play, creative exploration, and family and social connections. There may be application through projects and outward networking and also time to stretch out into the real-world to see how learning plays out there.
Coming back at the end of the day, to revisit Scrum, provides an opportunity for connection and reflection. You might play another short game together and you might each discuss how it went with the intentions for the day. You might touch upon wins and obstacles and discuss ideas for tweaking the experience to be more effective the following day.
At the end of the day (or even at the close of superpower time), you can help your child set clear goals for the next day. Setting goals the day before, helps the flow of the next day immensely because your child already knows what to do first and what to do after that.
There’s no right way to create a rhythm of the day, but rather these are some ideas based on the science of optimal learning. Every child is different as is every family, so you’ll adapt accordingly, while realizing that these ideas are based upon current understanding of human biology and so they may offer some support for your child’s development.
Above all else, the rhythm of the day should feel like a positive, forward moving experience, filled with get-to’s, not have-to’s. Remembering, as you move through each day, your child’s psychological needs for choice…that feeling of autonomy, connection…with meaningful content and people that are liked and enjoyed and competence…becoming more skilled every day.
I’d love to hear from you: what are some rhythms to the day that have felt good to you and your child?
