Welcome to Boldschoolers! Today, we’re talking about connection. Sometimes being home with our kids can feel freeing and joyous and other times…not so much. I know I have a tendency to turn into barking orders mama whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or when I feel like my kids aren’t learning enough or doing enough or helping enough. Even though I’m aware of it…barking orders mama has a tendency to keep happening unless I put measures into place.
What are those measures?
Well, for me and many of the families I’ve worked with…thinking about it like a bank account is helpful. If we all have lots of goodwill, kindness and connection in our accounts, it’s likely that the day will be relaxed, productive and engaged. However, if someone is running low and even overdrawn, a penalty fee is just around the corner in the form of a blow up, tears, disconnection or stubborn refusal.
The remedy I’ve found to fill those empty coffers is connection. It might be an extra ten minutes reading a story my child enjoys, a nature walk around the neighborhood with just the two of us, a board game or a card game. It might be stopping my busy life, looking my child in the eye and listening to the story she wants to tell me or the feelings he wants to share. Or it might just be “being”…sitting quietly together, or sharing a hug or a snack together. Depending on age and inclination, it’s going to look different, but that’s one of the ways we get to wonderfully individualize time with our children.
As you lie in bed at night, you might reflect on how you connected throughout the day. Maybe a brief connection in the morning is enough to fuel the day or maybe you find that you need to slide in moments of connection throughout the day. What worked, what may need adjusting? What might you add or subtract the next day? Remember, everything is just a conversation. What might you discuss with your child to deepen this art of connecting, so that we fill the bank accounts overflowing with positivity and optimism.
Now, let’s not forget about our own bank accounts. How are you connected to the adults in your life that you care about? As parents it’s easy to bankrupt our own accounts because we are so busy taking care of others. Is your account running low? Overdraft? Go to your calendar right now. I’m going to wait…Now, schedule a date night, dinner with friends or time with your parents or other loved ones or maybe even some time alone for self-care. Block it into the calendar and keep that commitment to yourself. Barking orders mama has a lot more patience with a rising account balance.
Happy Boldschooling!
