Getting in and staying in
If your child stays in focus and has some skills in the area mastered and automatized, there’s a good chance of finding flow. Remember, flow is that state where you feel your best and perform your best. In flow, time slows down or speeds up, the critical voice in our head vanishes and we’re our most productive and creative self.
What often happens in flow, however, is kids are pulled out of flow through some type of interference and once they’re out, it’s back to struggle. The main sources of interference are noise and distraction. These might be in the form of siblings playing, parents interrupting, environmental factors or technology, such as a phone dinging or beeping. It often doesn’t take much to completely sideswipe a kid out of focus. The good news is that a lot of those disruptions are manageable with a little forethought. Clear the environment and place unneeded technology in another room.
Another form of interference is negative self-talk, which is harder to eliminate because it’s out of a parent’s control and you might not even be aware that it’s happening. When I talk about the little voice in our head, this is what I’m talking about. That little voice of sabotage lurking in the background to tell us we can’t or we aren’t good enough. When in flow, that voice is quiet and creativity is heightened during a flow state because the brain is busy bending, breaking and reforming what’s known into something new. If the little voice raises its ugly head, that process comes to a screeching halt.
Flow takes a lot of energy and brain chemistry to pull off. It depletes our resources dramatically, so if things like sleep, nutrition, hydration or exercise are compromised, it’s going to be pretty hard to stay in the zone reaping the benefits. These wellbeing practices are called precursors to flow for a reason. Kids need to dial them in to enable learning and performing at their best.
I’m often asked if flow, once found, can be prolonged. Yes! We can use our flow boosters of novelty, unpredictability and complexity to level-up the experience. For example, you might change the environment to something new or incorporate surprise or raise the challenge level slightly to include additional information. These things cause us to pay even greater attention. A child might add in a social component, such as doing a presentation for friends, which adds an element of risk, thereby deepening flow. Get creative and have fun mixing it up.
After experiencing flow, kids need to power down and rest. As mentioned, flow is using a lot of brain chemistry. Resources are depleted and need to be replenished. When kids are learning at their best, they need to store that information in long-term memory for it to be recalled later. That encoding happens in sleep. Other than paying attention to sleep, nutrition, hydration and movement, kids can incorporate a mindfulness practice, breath work or relaxing play with friends to help them recover and reboot.
